(*turn on sense of humour* see also notes at the end)
Haha! Fooled ya!
I know you have been searching for days, because I’ve seen the title of this post pop up in my blog search terms a lot recently. Likely there is more than one of you. You thought that by searching “Patty Jansen torrent”, you could find pirated versions of my novels? You thought that was an OK thing to do? You thought I wouldn’t notice, especially if you landed on this blog?
You know what? You were wrong. I know where you’ve come from and how you ended up on my blog. I have your IP address.
Not only that, but you are a jerk. Because nothing in the world is going to make me believe that if you can afford internet connection and a device to read the internet on, you can’t afford the price of an ebook. So please spare me the sob story. Yes, I have bills, too.
But that’s not just it, right? You want to re-upload my stuff and sell it as your own? You know what? The ebook retailers are onto that trick. Their software actually ‘reads’ books and compares them. Prepare yourself for the nastygram from Amazon. Or your internet provider. Or both.
But, since you searched for a torrent site, and actually came to this blog post, I have you fooled. My books will not be at any torrent sites if I have anything to do with it. However, at any one time, a few of them are free on the legal sites anyway. So why visit those vile torrent sites that are rife with viruses?
Is saving coffee money really worth the trouble that will cause?
1. If you still have to ask, OF COURSE this is a parody. I’m a writer. I make shit up.
2. But the searches are real, so the least I can do is attempt to throw a stick in the SEO cogs by making this post the first one that comes up.
3. The IP addresses are real, too, at least on my self-hosted blog. Anyone can get (for free) plugins that will return, as well as stats, huge long lists of IP addresses of visitors. Nothing sinister going on there. Nothing on the web is secret anyway.